Lenten Season. For Christians, it’s a time to remember sacrifice and grief before the upcoming Celebration that is Easter. For Anti-Christians, it’s time to launch their bi-yearly ‘doubt bombs’ into the world of mediahype. This is usual achieved by creating a false dichotomy between a Historical Jesus and the Jesus of Faith. Traditionally, Macleans and/or Newsweek run sensational cover stories with titles like The Gospel of Judas or From Jesus to Christ and A&E and/or the Discovery Channel air various hoaxumentaries. Look for them to stack the decks with ultra-liberal scholars (falsely representing mainstream theology) accompanied by plenty of dubious editing and key terms like ‘scholars agree‘ and ‘new evidence points to‘. In addition, expect many open-ended questions said in highly intonated voices, such as, “Did Jesus reaaaaally just… disappear?”
With the Da Vinci Code going blockbuster for the Christmas Doubt Makers, there was nowhere else to go but up for the Easter Doubt Industry. Enter no less than James ‘Titanic’ Cameron and Simcha ‘Hollywoodism’ Jacobovici, two Canadian filmmakers with no shortage of talent, an abundance of ego, and all the chutzpah needed to pursue the Holy Grail of Anti-Christendom: Jesus Bones. Simply put, if Jesus didn’t resurrect and ascend, then it would mean the death of Christianity as we know it. And if that isn’t enough manufactured hype for you, the outcry from the Christian community will rally big numbers of viewers tuning in for the spite value alone!
Launch Time: Jesus (Ossuary) Himself is wheeled into a sensational New York press conference and it is announced to public amazement the discovery of the very tomb of Jesus and his family, including his wife, Mary Magdalene and Jesus’ own son, oddly enough named Judas!
But the problem was, this was no new discovery at all; in fact, it is nearly 30 years old now. The original archeaologists were not impressed, but later attempts to create a sensation resulted in a debunked BBC documentary back in 1996. Now, ten years after that, ‘The Jesus Family Tomb: Titanic Edition’ is nothing more than a remake that capitalises on the Jesus-Mary Magdalene Theory primed up by The Da Vinci Code along with popular anacronisms like ‘DNA’ for an audience intrigued with the CSI series.
Woops - the Doubt Bomb didn’t exactly fly. Real archeologists counter-attacked fast and furiously, the secular ones beating Christians to the punch. Amos Kloner, the man who oversaw the original excavation, explained that, while it might sound exciting to find a ‘Jesus, son of Joseph’ and a ‘Mary’ among ten boxes, these names were, in fact, so common that it becomes unremarkable in the big picture. 71 Jesus’ have been found, in fact. It gets even worse with silly DNA insinuations, misinterpreted names (or even scratch-marks being included), and obvious problems explaining why Jesus would be married with children, have a wealthy tomb in Jerusalem all the while a false story of his Ascension is establishing itself as a phenominal new religion. Ben Witherington just gets started on the problems here. Probability experts followed up by simply annihilating Jacobovici’s ‘math’ and all but accusing him of deliberate deception, if not an ‘F’ in Statistics.
At the end of the day, Cameron, Jacobovici and their promoters proved out the biblical warning: “Pride goes before a fall“. See, rather than stick to subversive but highly effective anti-christian documentaries like A&E’s ‘Mysteries of the Bible’, they got carried away in Hollywood blockbuster dreams. The result was an over-the-top doubt bomb stunt that even the secular public could see as an Emperor with no clothes. The backlash is likely to bankrupt the Doubtmaker industry for years to come…at least until next Advent, anyways.
My favourite line from playfuls.com: “What Cameron should have done is label his work as fiction and save himself from embarrassment. If this is some kind of pissing contest with Mel Gibson, Gibson won.”
An Unfinished Life:
You know those movies you see at the bottom of the rental rack, always a single copy, never rented out? Maybe you even sort of remember hearing something about it so you decide to take a chance and find yourself saying, “Wow - that was surprisingly good!” That was the effect this movie had for me. ‘An Unfinished Life‘ features Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Lopez, and some great acting by Damien Lewis as the asshole ex-husband.
Trivia: It was filmed (in part) in and around my own neighbourhood.
Flags of our Fathers:
This movie was directed by Clint Eastwood and feels a lot like a South Pacific version of Saving Private Ryan. It is based on the true story of the handful of soldiers who were credited with raising the American flag over Iwo Jima and is a quality war movie. The performer to look for in this cast is Manitoba’s own Adam Beach.
Superman Returns:
They finally found a way to kill Superman - this movie. Seriously, I believe this dull and hackneyed attempt will kill any remaining interest in not only Superman movies, but the comic franchise and the legend in pop-culture. This movie was comprised of nothing but a handful of ridiculous CGI scenes with a crap movie edited in between. Even Kevin Spacey phones it in.
Trivia: In the opening scene of the original Superman, where baby Superman lifts a car: I went to school with that guy and his brother. They were typical spoiled Child Star types at the time, though they outgrew that (I hope), and the younger Smolinski has done well as a working actor (I heard the elder rejected showbiz, becoming a live-off-the-land artist/naturalist).
The Departed:
Consider me both a hardcore Scorsese fanatic and a guy who waited a year in anticipation of what might have been the next Goodfellas (which is the best film in history). Unfortunately, ‘The Departed‘ comes off as an application to the Academy Awards and a ‘here’s proof that I can make a commercial blockbuster’ statement from Scorsese. Matt Damon and Leonardo Dicarpio are on opposing sides of both the Cops and Robbers; an epic cellphone battle ensues with lots of mobile texting, talking, ring-toning and phone-flipping. I counted 45 different phone calls/texts/rings and dialing. It’s a faster, slicker 90’s version of Scorsese pace (yes, I said nighties), but I imagine that old-skooler Jack Nicholson probably requested the Oscar people just let his role be forgotten. Not only is the soundtrack subpar, this film is overrun with far too many moles, double-crossers, twists, and super-sudden fake-looking punch ups (and did I mention the ubiquitous cell phones?). Interspersed are a few tasteless and uncalled for sexual violence scenes as well. Despite its shortcomings; however, there are brilliant performances from Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg, both of whom rarely disappoint.
Trivia: The word ‘fuck’ some variation thererof (fuckin, fucked etc) occurs over 230 times in the course of the movie. Seriously. Two hundred and thirty seven ‘fucks’ to be exact.
The film is an American version of Mou Gaan Dou.
Little Miss Sunshine: It’s not often you see a black comedy as endearing as this and Little Miss Sunshine pulls it off. In this film, a dysfunctional family road-trip demonstrates that the ’screwed up’ are not as far gone as the ‘proper’ society that they live in. Featured is a superb cast, namely Alan Arkin, who deserves his Oscar time in this role. Paul Dano absolutely amazed me; he builds a convincing and multi-faceted teen character without even speaking for the first half of the movie.
Trivia: The film narrowly escaped having Robin Williams cast as the lead role.
Without a doubt the best little tool on earth to eliminate stress and anxiety can be purchased just about anywhere for less than $30. Used properly, it can instantly eliminate a nice big chunk of anxiety from your life. What is this miracle device? It’s the MP3 Player. OK, it could also be a CD Player, a Sony Walkman, an 8-track or even a Vinyl Disk. Look, just go out and get yourself an MP3 Player and trust me - it is without question the single most effective stress-fighting device you will ever own. Have I emphasised that enough yet!?
Now, here is where a bit of skill factor comes in (and it’s worth it)… you want to load that MP3 Player with a nice playlist of music but with a certain stress-busting formula that would go something like this:
- Theme song to Welcome Back Kotter
- Argent: Hold Your Head Up
- Daft Punk: Da Funk
- Daft Punk: Around the World
- Peruvian Flute Music
You might not choose those specific songs but understand the principle and make your own parallel choices. Here is the formula: start with a song that takes you back to a special time and brings back good memories, follow it with at least one uplifting and positive song that inspires you, then throw in something with cyclical and entrancing beats. The ‘beats’ should be less than your heart-rate when you are feeling anxious. I promise you, this is important - getting into the beat will help slow your heart-rate to a more reasonable level. Finish with some flutey music or a ’sounds of the ocean’ track to lull you into a calm state. Your assignment: get those Earbuds in, lay down (or even carry out some mindless chores), and get into those beats for 20-30 minutes a day.
In time, the MP3 Player will come in handy advancing you into Guided Meditation audio experiences. I’m still reviewing my best recommendations but meanwhile, get prepared with your MP3 Player therapy. For those with acute anxiety who want to start Guided Meditation right away, I recommend downloading Bronwyn Fox MP3 ‘Taking Back the Power’. Only $15 (thick Aussie accent included).
*Warning: This advice sounds so simple that it gets glossed over by too many anxiety sufferers even though it is easily one of the most powerful tools you can find. For the small investment of time and money required, it will blow the doors off of anything else you can find in therapy today. It’s so effective that I’d gladly send a free MP3 Player to every anxiety sufferer I know just to prove it (I’m not doing that, but just saying I would if I could - heh.
A little poison now and then: that makes for pleasant dreams. And much poison at the end for a pleasant death. They have their little pleasures for the day, and their little pleasures for the night, but they have a regard for health. We have discovered happiness, say the Last Men, and they blink. ~Nietzsche
The Premise: In the near future, the world is infertile and aging societies begin to fall apart politically as well as practically. The tagline: No children, no future, no hope… but, then again, is it a new beginning? The movie features superb attention to the subtle implications of the scenario, well-rounded plotlines, and some of the most frightfully realistic action scenes ever made. Clive Owen is solid as the Protagonist, Michael Caine is memorable in this ‘John Lennon at 70′ role, and the directing style of Alfonso Cuaron is most refreshing. See Children of Men and know that it is this generation’s Bladerunner (or anti-Bladerunner as Cuaron calls it).
Trivia: Look for animals kept as ’surrogate children’; what will be ‘future vintage gear’ such as an old London 2012 shirt or an old XM8 rifle (currently the latest technology); a clever Pink Floyd reference from ‘Animals’;the Abu Graib hooded prisoner in humiliating custody, and many more references to be spotted throughout.
Christian Worldview Rating:Â None, really. Theism in any reference barely exists in this world with some brief and somewhat derogatory exceptions such as where Christians take to the streets declaring global infertility as God’s punishment for previous abortion rulings. A Hamas-type paramilitary shouts “Allah Akbar” in a funeral parade. Some references to God are made by some characters in pseudo-positive ways and there are pictures alluding to the story of Jesus’ Birth (the Infancy Gospel). Otherwise, you have the impression that this world is atheistic despite its impending fate. A thing called ‘The Human Project’ is mankind’s salvation in this world.
Lefty-Meter: There is a mitigated pro-leftist worldview; for example, it is established that immigration is good and just and that the military and nationalists trying to control the issue are downright evil thugs. On the other hand, it is also established that the leftist freedom fighters are entirely capable of being self-serving and equally destructive in their own right. On the whole, valid questions are asked of many different political worldviews even if a sort of secular progressive view emerges as the clear choice.
Pope Benedict Calls Out Evolutionism. Kicks Naturalism to the Curb.
Brass Balls Benedict has done it again. As a Lutheran, I can tell you that Benedict is without a doubt the most Luther-like Pope in Centuries (imho) and has been right off the starting line of his Inauguration . ‘The Hammer’ lived up to his reputation as a no-bullshit enforcer for the RC’s. Can you please just marvel at the sheer balls it took to make one of his first orders of business a ‘zero tolerance policy’ for any homosexuality in the Priesthood ? Gigantic balls, I tell you. From there, he pretty much went on a mitre-wielding beatdown on pussy Catholicism and he all but named names - including so many Canadian RCs who were endorsing same-sex marriages or abortions (the fashionable thing to do in their dictatorship of relativism). Oh, and remember those colourful robes and hats the Popes used to wear before insincere critics pretended they were offended by the show of wealth? Well, Benedict is not only wearing them again but he took the top down on his Popemobile, too. Representin’, as the kids say. For that matter, nothing is too small for the Benedictinato, who woke up one day and eliminated Bingo from RC church basements across the planet. That’s how he rolls. A more substantial day of shit disturbing for Big Bad Ben is when he decided it was time to remind Muslims they follow Muhammed’s religion of death and, after dropping that IED beside the road, he merely had to sit back and watch them prove it. Then what does Brass Balls do next? Despite the Koran’s requirement that a good Muslim would want to kill the Pope, Benedict still goes to Islamic Turkey (despite the would-be assassin of Pope John begging him not to) and after that balls-out tour reminds everyone that Islam’s Koran is still ‘insufficient’ after all. But wait, because it gets even better: this week Benedict decided to surprise everyone with a zesty little article in which he effectively called Evolutionism out of its untouchable status and into the level playing field of debatable theory. To show he means business, he fired off a philosophical bunkerbuster stating correctly that ‘Naturalistic (a.k.a. Atheistic) Evolutionism’ is not only unscientific but indeed foolish. Score. Benedict continues to be brilliant in that he does not disallow for Theistic Evolutionism (well DUH) but he leaves enough floor open for goofy Evofundies to claim an endorsement… or does he?: “The question is not to either make a decision for a creationism that fundamentally excludes science, or for an evolutionary theory that covers over its own gaps and does not want to see the questions that reach beyond the methodological possibilities of natural science,” the pope said. “I find it important to underline that the theory of evolution implies questions that must be assigned to philosophy and which themselves lead beyond the realms of science,”. No worries; in reality, Benedict is not endorsing theistic evolutionism as much as he is enforcing theism (although allowing the former to be held in concordance with Roman Catholic beliefs only as long as you’re theistic), which brings your ‘evolution’ up to Adam and Eve (you would take it from there as scripture and church suppose). Naturally, this will ignite all sorts of philosophical and theological debate and, best of all, speed up the inevitable worldwide acceptance of ‘ID Theory’ which for all intents and purposes is only waiting now for the old guard naturalists to die off in the next decade or two. How long will it be before Evolutionism (as we know it) is entirely rewritten and replaced with a different and entirely acceptable theory? Not soon enough. But until then, Benedict might as well have nailed another thesis to the door of the Hall of Secularism.
