Return of the King from The Archives

Return of the King is new on video and that can only mean one thing - I will deliberately subject myself to three and half hours of tedious melodrama, blabbering Orks and annoying midgets.
Here's the plot-line:
A whole lot of easily killable 'Orks' and 'Goblins' are attacking places. A bunch of humans are fighting the Monsters and all the while - the Gay Wizard does fuck all with his magic staff which can shoot lasers at Dragons but is apparently useless against Elephants..
Lots of blabbering on about 'honour' and 'battle' and occasional flashbacks to Elves muttering some pompous advice at someone else.
Chubby Rudy Elf and Jewish Elf spend the whole movie climbing things while the Junkie Elf tries to rip them off. For some reason they have rubber ears glued to their real ears throughout. (ya.. good special effects I guess)
I try and keep awake by looking forward to the battle scenes with the giant Attack-Elephants. All the while waiting for Bearded Dracula Wizard to arrive and fight the Queen Wizard.
Guess what - NO CHRISTOPHER LEE!
The only good character in the whole series is the only one NOT included in this. They got Ian Holm to reprise his role as Uncle BilBore Baggins even though he was in a mask.. but NO DRACULA?!?!
Thank goodness its over. In case your wondering why I never reviewed Part Two...its because I wanted to stay true to the second book - which I skipped through and went all the way to the end of book three. ha!
So there ya go.. What everyone else wanted to say was:
Some cool special effects but otherwise had a lot of long boring scenes and quite frankly you are glad its over with.