The Secret is… Exposed. Part One

The Secret is… Exposed. Part One

It’s called the The Secret and it’s a ‘documentary’ being touted by Oprah, hyped on Larry King, and promoted by Olivia Newton-John. It is supposedly a way to get yourself money, wealth, power, sex, health, and, I gather, revenge upon your enemies, a solid gold jetcar and, if you’re like any of the sickos promoting this evil mentality, lots of praise and worship, too. And it’s not just some New Age bullshit repackaged in DVD Oprah-friendly form; it’s an evil philosophy already ruining the lives of many of those deceived by its claims. What are those claims? What is the Great Secret and how come it can inadvertently work on some while ‘rightfully’ ruining others?
Lets review the The Secret DVD: marketed as one of the greatest teaching tools available to mankind, it fiercely fires up on your screen with all the production values and soundtrack you might expect from a Da Vinci Code theatrical trailer. Enter none other than Olivia Newton-John, exhausted, distraught, in mourning, and hiking through the sweltering heat of the Australian sun as if she had been wandering the desert for ages, crying out into the wilderness. I assume a parallel is being drawn to John the Baptist, minus the life of fame and fortune made possible by an inherently beautiful appearance and abundance of talent. Anyway, Ms. Newton-John is then quick-edited to where she has discovered the Great Secret of Mankind in an expensive chest she keeps in her home! She knows The Secret has been established throughout history, as we are then shown by virtue of dramatic re-enactments. It seems great armies have marched into Egypt only to have The Secret hidden away, later found by Crusaders and given to Roman Catholic Bishops who then give it to… maybe the Pope… (at this point the words “it has been coveted” appear on screen). Eventually, someone who might be William Blake and/or some enlightened 18th century scientist is seen scurrying away with The Secret as a frenzied mob descends upon his home. Finally, we see the dreadful scene (cue metallic thuds as background noise) of a smoky conference room where a table full of rich old white men puff cigars. A CEO grimaces as he looks at a piece of paper in front of him, then up at a tableful of smugly affirming faces. A typewriter then fires off the following sentence “The Secret will never be made known to the public…”.
Now we come back to Olivia, who explains how many people have known about this; some of the greatest people in history such as Plato, Shakespeare, Newton, Hugo, Beethoven, Lincoln, Edison, Emerson, and Einstein. As exhilarating choirs trounce to a climactic fury, she throws her head back and exclaims “Why doesn’t anyone know about this?!” She begins to search the Internet to find great people alive today who know The Secret too - lo and behold, the faster she types, the faster they emerge, starting with Bob Proctor who informs us that The Secret gives you everything you could ever want - happiness, health, and wealth.” Bob Vitale also appears to inform you that you can have, do, or be anything you want. Wow. John Assaraf is next, saying, “We can have anything we choose, no matter how big”. The list of holy Renew-age ‘prophets’ continues, including who might be the most insecure and over-compensating of them all, Reverend Doctor Michael Beckwith D.D., whose already audacious title is topped with the description Visionary by the producers. The bottom line is that all these great modern masters of humanity are in agreement - The Great Secret of Life can give you money and everything you ever lusted.. err.. desired.
GAD, ELPROXIMO - GET TO THE SECRET ALREADY!
Bob Proctor (the ‘pastoral’ Grandfather of the Secret-Sellers) explains that we are all guiding our own lives by very specific Universal Laws; he explains their exact nature by the fact that we could calculate the Moon Landing touchdown within seconds. OK. So now you know there is a very exact Universal Law and that we all work by it - it’s the Law of Attraction. Apparently, everything you get in your life you get because it is attracted to you, and it’s attracted to you by virtue of the images you hold in your mind. It’s what you are thinking - that’s The Secret and the Babylonians knew it. Proctor demands to know: why do we think 1% of the world owns 96% of the wealth? Do we think that’s an accident? It’s no accident, dummy…a flashback to the rich old white men in a boardroom confirms this! Obviously, the explanation is that they think hard about wealth and therefore the Universe gave it to them by nature of the Law of Attraction. John Assaraf puts it this way: “Think of your imagination as a magnet attracting whatever it focuses on.” Dooley appears with the ‘kiss principle’ for you, which is three simple words: thoughts - become - things.
Cue pseudoscience: Assaraf explains that we (whoever that is) can now measure thoughts (computers and graphs shown) and that these thoughts have frequencies. Special effects show people lusting for a car, boat, lottery winning, or life companion and a sort of shock wave emanates from them, presumably into the Universe. And it always works; it works every time with every person. The only problem is that most people are not enlightened yet and think about what they don’t want, and therefore that is what they get - over and over again. Next we see some loser getting a ticket on his vehicle… ahhhh… he was thinking about how he did NOT want to get a ticket for parking illegally and so he did for that very reason alone! If you focus on how badly you do not want to be late for work - you are calling those construction workers into existance! If you focused on some expensive jewelry you want - you can send ’shockwaves’ at the item and later it will be given to you by the Universe (via a boyfriend) and thats you - you did that. You made it reality! Bill Harris weighs (with ‘Chakras diagram behind him) in now to give us proof positive of this Principle by way of an email account provided to him online (clearly factual) and it involves a man horribly bullied and ridiculed by workmates, beaten up by Homophobes at every block and booed and assaulted whenever he attempted his stand-up comedy. Our real-life victim then proceeded to ‘think of what he wanted’ and amazingly it not only stopped but he became popular and received standing ovations! PROOF! Look, since we have a lot of thoughts and cannot possibly keep conscious track of them - we can really use our feelings as a ‘feedback mechanism’. Basically your feelings are your guide and so in that sense if you are feeling ‘bad’ then you will get more bad events - just like the Poor who, because they feel bad about being poor (because they think about being so poor) then they become poorer. Conversely the rich make themselves richer by feeling good (because of thinking good) and therefore attract more wealth. Now our Presentation is wrapping up with the simple and joyous conclusion we are reaching now that we know the Giant Secret - Your thoughts and feelings create your life. You are the ‘Deliberate Creator of your Life’ and you can get stuff that makes you feel good by simply using the Universe - its that bloody simple. Guru Jack Canfield attests that once he started using The Secret he has attained a life you only dream of and he lives daily - a 4.5 million dollar mansion, a wife to die for (she is thin and blonde!) and he gets to take vacations and safaris. The Law of Attraction: Think about what you want and the Universe will give it to you. Done. No need to get into the continuing metaphysics about the positive ‘vibrations’ you manifest or the highly conjectured quantum physics ‘cited’ as confirmation. You have The Giant Great Secret of Mankind and Life.
That Concludes Part One.