Angry at Pilsbury Now?

Actual Email Anger Guy sent to Pillsbury:

Two commercials for your Pizza snacks feature a parent being seriously and horribly injured in some terrible accident. The father is screaming in horror and agony.
Then some absolutely ignorant fucker of a young adult actually commits a gross act of evilness and family betrayal by ignoring his dying parent to 'snack on your tasty product'.
The ignorant little fuck (the one who loves pizza snacks over his parents pain and agony and plea's for help) is not only a piece of human garbage - but a CRIMINAL!
In many courts your pizza snack advocate could be arrested and put in jail for deliberately allowing someone to suffer and die.

Personally I HATE the sight of Pilsbury products now thanks to your campaign.

Please tell the Ad-Wizards that I hope they never have to be screaming in agony and horror while I pass by and 'don't give a fuck' like the fuckface pilsbury advocate in their commercials.

Good day

[If Pillsbury replies - it might be an equally ferocious email to the makers of Crown Royal]

The Angry Guy Back When XP Came Out

The end of technology.
You heard it here first and here’s why: Windows XP.
Are you fuckin kidding me Mr.Bill? This is what I get four years after Windows 98 came out?
I dare you to explain what the Fuck is good about XP? If I take my Win98, add Neowatch firewall, AVG free antivirus and then, if I’m really gay or a fruity woman, then I get Windowblinds and download the fuckin most horrid looking 1980's Miami Vice pastel coloured interface and some child-themed icons and Voila! - I have something that is actually better than XP because it wouldn't hog as much disk space and memory as that piece of crap XP!
Seriously, This is it? Oh great work assholes, with your XP I have a giant fuckin floating dandelion log-on (or a skater-punk), but the *firewall is OFF by default and the *file and print sharing is ON by default! (There is no indication those settings exist outside finding that in a back tab after 10 step pastel blue icon laden navigation.)
*Hey Hackers, 75% of users will never find that option so have fun!
Do not get me fucking started on the GUI.. too late. Who..?.. Who the fuckin fuckity fuck thought that a 'Plastic Tonka-toy wearing makeup' look was a good idea!
I will bet you that even really effeminate gay guys will complain that it’s too 'fruity'.
Anyway, if you can look at it without throwing up then the ONLY feature that may find interesting is the fuckin 'movie-maker'. You can make it look like you are flying and listening to a Madonna song! (You already could using other programs but now it is at the touch of a huge pastel-orange button in the sliding-glass-space-doors-start-menu-board-fuckin-thing.)
Can I say just one good thing about it? Yes!
XP has a really efficient little uninstall program. Although it takes 77 minutes to install (seriously) its only about 5 to get that horrid crap off my computer. After it was done and I saw my slightly corrupted 98 was still there, I was actually so happy I promised to never make fun of it again!
See, there was a happy ending.

Bizarre Ranting Anger Guy Again

 Idiots!

I watched this special TV presentation of an 'Electronic National Town Hall' that was purportedly going to tell us how we feel as a culture about war in Afghanistan.

Apparently this is a 'town' made up of those really stupid university students who like to think that they are vastly more informed and altruistic than the rest of us.

These pathetic pinko- wannabe's had a mad sense of urgency at every question in what is clearly a show of over-compensation to their poorly thought out statements:

"We Need to make agreements and have peace talks..NOt War!" whines the first 'Campus Ghandi'.

The next nose-ring sporting 'life expert' informs us that:

"We are responsible for causing the poverty and so therefore we should talk to them and HELP them!"

The next pale faced 70's chic, white guy afro bearing, hackey sack tossing, Indie listening little college fairy decides to tell us:

"War is bad and if we just bomb people that we are prejudiced against then and we hurt people and we should try and have talks instead and maybe give them aid and ..."

BARRRFF!.....

Listen to me you immature, socially retarded little fuckfaces! This group of terrorists want to kill us! They really want to cause the horrible deaths of you and your family! They do not give a Shit about talks, money, food or especially you’re Uni-sheep, pablum-brained, little attempt at being the 'facilitator'.

Maybe you Narrow-minded short-sighted, fake-anti-racists should consider for just a moment that many of these vicious killers are:

More educated than you are.

Have far more money than you ever will.

They have met and lived with our culture and they still want to slash your faces and watch you scream in terror as you burn to death!

"ya but it doesn't solve things to kill just because they did and then we are the same so killing again won't help because it makes only more killing and racism and.. "

SHUT the FUCK up and SIT DOWN!

YES! You Moronic Idiot. Yes it DOES stop them!

If you kill that group of 200 terrorists that are hiding in Afghanistan then that STOPS them from hurting people.

If you can't understand that then please kill yourself for a minute and see if that stops you from hurling crap at me every time you open your mouth. I bet it will.

I can't wait until these young Canadian, 'Social wizards' decide to have a meeting with Bin Laden. Here is the scenario:

As they try and help him and teach him how to accept people and learn about compromise and stop the cycle of racism... ..CRunCH!

Bin Laden's men drop hatchets into the backs of their confused little dreadlock covered skulls.

I actually don't want that to happen. (Hmm?) That is why I want Allied forces to go into Afghanistan and Kill those terrorists.

The rest of the town meeting morons were making me pissed off as well but that is enough for one night. Grrrrr, 

While I'm at it:

Fuck you : Mealy neurotic SUV plastic Mall-Puppets Fuck You Doctors that give aforementioned fake women their fake tits, Prozac, and humiliate their boys - loading em up on Ritalin and ensuring life long misogyny. Assholes.
Fuck You Stephen J, Hawking. you wanna know why? Fucking Bell-shaped Universe, my arse. I say it’s shaped like you Mr. Hawking. An Asshole shape.
Fuck You Lazy 'soldiers' that plant these landmines everywhere and cant even take the time to remove them! I hope you can’t live with the guilt and cut your own legs off. p-fuckin-s. You aren't soldiers. you are cowards.
A Big Fuck You to Hollywood! Many reasons why, however, anti-Semitism would be a good starter - and I mean the self-loathing kind. Sure we are a lot of 'cattle' but that makes what you do even more disgusting!
A special Fuck You to any webmaster that posts dead baby pics. Why do you need that kind of traffic, they are children! A mother carried that baby. Go Fuck yourselves.

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Apparently Angry at CNN 911 Coverage?

I have almost no respect for CNN or any of the actors it props up behind a news desk to parrot lines at me. Make no mistake about it - they are nothing more than actors.
Why do I disrespect the TV show called CNN? Well, Besides having the same sets, suits and make-up styles for the last 10 years, CNN has apparently hired the webmaster of this site to write those streaming updates that run across the bottom of the screen.
I swear I saw three spelling errors in just one newsflash. Don’t Chiron machines have spell check now a days?
As to which of the actors/anchors that are the most untalented, let me name names here: Aaron Brown . This guy obviously has a wizard for an agent - he is clearly devoid of any speaking ability, common sense, looks, or any sort non-offensive facial expressions, and yet, his lack of personality somehow confused CNN bosses into mistaking him for being 'emotionally fair and balanced'.
(So is a cow but I don't see a cow reading some shitty lines at me. Mind you, I would rather see that than the wind-up toupee dolls they have now. Unfortunately CNN would coat the poor talking cow in skin lightening creamy make-up and prop a really blonde wig on it as well.)
I digress.
Anyway, here is a real example of how CNN does nothing that you couldn't easily do better yourself at home with a Mr. Microphone
It is 9/11 and the US is being attacked. It is like hell on Earth is actually happening! CNN is clearly stunned and unprepared for any actual live news events. Reporting half truths and outright nonsense every minute on the minute...
(Recall that the Pentagon was hit with a truck bomb that killed several people and a 5th plane was 'lost' and heading for Washington? CNN was running that for hours!)
Reporters/actors were so confused that some were stuttering and desperately repeating the line "There it is..the pictures tell the story". .Ya because you don't know how you useless idiot!
Finally the stage is set for 'live coverage', Aaron Brown is standing atop a building in New York, which the dork keeps reminding us in monotone voice:

"We are atop a building which as you can see overlooks Lower Manhattan.." Why do you keep saying that over and over you stupid fuck?

Aaron is droning on in his non-committed tone about:
"what was and now isn't. To think of what could have been and sadly we look past all this and recall happier times and a day when we thought it ....."
Buildings are on fire! What the shit are you saying?
Anyway, I swear that as two of the greatest buildings in all mankind's history are crumbling and burning and thousands are dying horrid deaths..CNN actually is running these words across the screen;
--WTC FastFacts: built in 70.. 544 panes of glass--
People are burning to death and CNN is running poorly spelled trivia 'fastfacts' about window panes!

The only good thing I can say is, that while Aaron Brown was doing his ' Whimsy-thing' with a former military General, he actually asked the General to 'reflect' on how he recalled the towers in happier times (while the buildings were still burning!) The unimpressed army man retorted:

" NO I won’t be answering that kind of question. we're being attacked at the moment!"
Aaron had the stupid balls to ask again -and the General just stopped talking to him. Stopped looking at the camera and refused to acknowledge the interviewer right there via satellite! Damn straight!
Anyway, do not even get me started on this laughable attempt CNN has made to be 'ultra-unbiased" with the whole Israel-Palestinian situation. Clearly Israel has more on Arafat then the US has on Bin Laden, but CNN has clearly gone overboard in its attempt to "Show no partiality to Israel" attitude.
I think it has to do with about 70% of CNN being Jewish (in heritage, if not practice). Look, stop being cute with terrorists you stupid talking-heads and ask the fucking terrorist Arafat why he murders baby Jews?
Arafat hates Jews and, if you are a unbiased reporter then who gives a shit if your name is Blitzer, Kessel, King or even Jewwy 'The Jew' Jewman. Ask the fucking tough questions and call murder murder!

Anyway, if you want to get some intelligent and unbiased news from real journalists in the US then go to CNBC and watch only Matthews or Tim Russert. Just get ready to change channels fast when you see Geraldo!

Strangely Angry at Sitcoms

Last night I accidentally watched this sit-com. 

It was written and acted so poorly that I found myself glued to the screen in a sort of morbid fascination kind of way. The disjointed plot seemed to involve someone named Laquinisha getting even with some kids at school who were uppity about a dance contest they had won.
At the same time Laquinisha's mother Shaniqua was unable to comprehend any 'young peoples' problems due to having her libido apparently transformed into that of a desperate bitch in heat anytime Principal Hughley walked by.
I recall Laquinisha learned that Tyrell preferred her over Tiffany even though Tiffany won the dance contest and was wearing a cheerleader outfit.
I also recall being amazed this was on the air and that I was watching it!
Considering that this show didn't have any writing to worry about, they could have at least tried to find a volunteer Gaffer from the audience.
(A Gaffer is someone who finds and prevents 'Gaffs' like say a car or person that has been moved out of background between takes)
Oh but no! This sit-com figured no one would notice when characters actually vanish from scenes, or are wearing different clothes after only going onto the balcony!
Here is the really sick part though - according to the shows producers and 'writers' it seems that all white-skinned people are very dull and responsible. Now that is not nearly as bad as having anyone, darker than creole, being portrayed as a 'Shukkin an Jivin' slang-rhyming-hedonist, interested in nothing else but something called 'ching-ching, bling-bling' followed by humping air and saying 'an ya know wot I mean'!
All black women over 25, were sexually jealous freaks who would do grotesque 'chicken dances' at any moment a mans name was even mentioned.
What the fuck is this?
I think these were called 'Minstrel shows' back in America's 20's?
Listen, I don't know much about racial problems in the States but if I was a black American woman watching the 'head shakin and eye rollin' on some of these 'geirrl frieennd!' programmes... lets say Id be even more offended than I am now!
Believe me I am already very disgusted!

---

Strangely Angry Person Again

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I now have found so many people that need a serious fuckin beating that I actually had to start writing it down on paper. I carry this little piece of paper around in my wallet and it is simply called The Beating List.

The first 20 names tie for first place but the most especially 'beat-worthy' have to be these fuckin tough-dog owners. These are those fucking assholes that need or want a Rottweiler or Pitbull because they are really just faggots who need weapons.

These are the guys that actually get puffed up and flattered when you even lightheartedly ask "Does he bite?".......What this kind of shitface tough dog guy hears you say is: "Um Sir,, YOU aren't going to hurt me with YOUR big dangerous penis and strong fighting powers are you?"

Asshole tough dog guys almost get a bit 'horny' when their pitbull scares the shit out of kids walking past his yard. These fuckin cowards are the same fucks that - after their dog takes a run at me and I wind up for a good kick to save my arse.. . these Fucking Assholes will yell at me!?

" Don’t You Dare Hurt MY DOG! "

Guess what, you annoying fucker of a coward? I am going to take a fuckin rifle and walk around your yard occasionally waving it at your head. It no different at all than your Rottweiler walking around my kids is it?

"Ha ha, don't worry Tough Guy.. I won’t hurt you"

But if I do happen to pull back the safety lock and it points at your head ...

" HEY! NO ! DO Not Fuckin touch MY rifle, don't you DARE hurt my rifle!"

Next time I have to kick your dogs head in, to protect myself - just remember that you killed the dog, Fuckface - you forced me to do the killing for you but it is you who made it happen!

You assholes owe me and the dog an apology!

I don’t even like to think about what happens to animals on a daily fucking basis in this country!

------------------------------

P Fucking S : Some of you 'cat lovers' are as bad as anyone. you take it away from its mother while its still weaning, then you leave it dry cat food and water, you 'fix' it before its grown and then you lock it in a house where you smack it and attribute 'vindictiveness' to it for being itself.

You shame it for naturally defecating by rubbing the animals nose in it to 'punish it for being dirty' and then what.. you declaw it so it doesn’t have its most important body parts... you know what .. Fuck you too!

Big Brother 5 UK Ex-Penis Shocker as Tranny Enters the Game!

Big Brother 5 UK Ex-Penis Shocker as Tranny Enters the Game!

(..*and we said it would happen!)

"I still have two balls ...it's just that now they are bigger, synthetic and on my chest." ~Nadia 'Carl' Almada

Meet Nadia Almada.. the 27 year old BB5 UK guest that is custom-made to shock her fellow houseguests like none other before!
Unlike previous silicone-bearing guests - Nadia also comes with artifical hormones, reconstructive surgery, fat injections and a penis turned inside-out in the shape of a fake vagina!
The Shocking 'Tranny Twist' was revealed to the stunned viewing audience - but NOT to the Eleven other contestants inside the house - who must live, eat and sleep with him for the entire summer!
So far Nadia (aka Carlos) has managed to keep his former sexual identity a secret but you can be sure Big Brother will be there to capture the priceless expressions on the faces of every house guest as they find out the shocking news of Nadia's missing testicles!!
Oh and Nadia has one more little secret - He's a Virgin! (Err.. we are not sure what this means yet?)
*Shockalot Online was first to predict a Transsexual Surprise was in the works among Big Brother producers over a full year ago! Our prediction caused many viewers to speculate that BB4 USA contestant Erika was the 'man in question'. (A rumour we were first to confirm was untrue) Now the Real Transsexual has indeed stood up! Shockalot wishes you the best of luck in BB5 UK!